• Koolaid

Letter to Ben Simmons

Dear Benjamin Simmons,


What a rollercoaster it was watching you screw me over throughout the whole 2019-2020 season. I have never experienced anything like it in my 10 years of NBA gambling. I’m still in utter shock at the things I witnessed from you and the team this year. If I could put my full feelings in words I would. I’d rather spend a night cracking beers and hanging out with Jim Boylan of the Chicago Bulls then relive the losses caused by you this year. 


Apparently you're seeing a psychiatrist to build shooting confidence. I’m really happy to hear that, because odds are I’ll continue betting on your team throughout the playoffs and lose every dollar to my name. I also started seeing a psychiatrist Ben, after I watched you brick two free throws to blow the +9.5 spread on February 6th, 2020 at 9:34 PM. I have never fully recovered as a person since that night. Not only have I not fully recovered, I don't think I can move forward.


I hope that the million dollar dog house you’ve been building instead of working on shooting all season is coming along well. Also, if you're tempted to leave the bubble to go throw rocks outside of Kendalls window, just rise above it man. We need you in the bubble pretending like you're shooting the basketball now, then come playoff time not shoot once and lose us all of our money.


Sincerely,


Koolaid the Capper